August 24, 2000

I cannot believe how naive I was in 1998.  Actually I was downright ignorant.  I submitted to RAI in April 1998, which is probably the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Life has been a continued nightmare of symptoms since then.  Sure I had horrible symptoms before RAI but I never in a million years agreed to trade those symptoms for a new set of diabolical ones.  I agreed to RAI because I was told I would get my life back and it would be symptom free.  What a bunch of liars I was dealing with! Absolute consummate professional liars!

I received a phone call from the Old Man today. He informed me that my CT Scans were normal.  My biggest fear has been realized.  I am back to square one. Old Man says he wants to see me on Monday to change some of my medications.

Old Man now thinks that I might be feeling this way because of the Hydrochlorothiazid 25 mg. I take for water retention.  He also says that it could be the Metoprolol 50 mg. I take for blood pressure.  Old Man claims he knows of a medication that can take away the leg cramps and leg crawling at night.

I saw Squirt yesterday to get a refill on the medication I take for migraine headaches. Squirt acted like he had experienced divine intervention and now knew exactly what my problem was.  According to Squirt my problems are purely menopausal.

He was a bit shocked at the over 50 lb. weight gain in less than two months.  However, he was not shocked enough to use his brains.

Squirt presented me with a packet of Permarin.  He has assured me that this pill will change my life.  Ya right!  Just like Synthroid and RAI have changed my life!

Of course I am in menopause! No one is disputing that fact!  But for the love of _____, all my symptoms are not menopausal symptoms!

I have never had a hot flash in my life.  I do experience extreme exhaustion, sleepless nights due to leg cramping and crawling and sleepless nights due to being awakened with a jolt that I can only describe as an adrenaline rush in my stomach.  I am experiencing excessive weight gain, hip, leg and foot pain, continued muscle weakness in my legs even though I swim daily and of course, the dizzy spells.  The disorientation that accompanies the dizzy spells is very annoying.  I have boil like eruptions in unmentionable places and spots of darker pigmentation on both sides of my face.

Quite frankly I now believe that doctors think that women my age should be put out to pasture. They seem to believe that a minimum quality of life is just fine after you hit the magic age of “50”.
CT Scan of the Brain – dictated on August 11, 2000

Procedure: Coronal contrast enhanced cuts were obtained through the sella.

Findings: The pituitary gland is normal in size and attenuation. The infundibulum is midline in position. There is some sloping of the sellar floor on the right posteriorly. However, no definite pituitary adenoma is identified. No parasellar or suprasellar abnormality is identified.

CT Scan of the Adrenal Glands – dictated on August 11, 2000

Findings: Both adrenal glands are normal in size and enhance symmetrically. There is no mass. The visualized portions of the liver, spleen, pancreas and kidneys appear normal.

Impressions: Negative CT Scan of the adrenal glands.

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