October 6, 2000

Today meant another drive into the city for me. Had an appointment with Squirt, my family doctor. On the ride into the city I kept up a steady stream of conversation with my self. (I have been told you can talk to yourself all you want and it is okay. It only becomes a problem when you answer yourself back). I kept trying to convince myself that today would be the dawning of a new era of medical treatment for me. I must have been delusional! I mentioned to Squirt that I was corresponding with an American doctor who had told me I needed certain tests done. I humbly and kindly (yes I can be both humble and kind when the need arises) asked Squirt if he would be so kind and write out the requisitions for the tests this American doctor had recommended.

Poor Squirt. I nearly yielded to the temptation to feel sorry for him. His under lip quivered and he asked me in the most pitiful voice whether I was seeing another doctor. I had not realized that Squirt and I had such a close and I-am-the-only-doctor-you-can-see relationship.

I assured him that so far I was seeing only him, the Blonde Bimbo and The Old Man at the country hospital.

Squirt then squared his shoulders and gave me his opinion on American doctors and their diagnosis. I have conveniently forgotten what he said.

I asked Squirt if he would please let me do another 24-hour urine cortisol but the answer was a very firm no. He told me that my 24-hour urine test in June had been just fine. I mentioned insulin resistance and Squirt said he would have to do some research on insulin resistance and then decide whether I could have the fasting Insulin tests done. So the waiting game continues!

To appease the Blonde Bimbo and Squirt I agreed to try Premain .625 and Novo Medrone 2.5 at the end of August. I told Squirt today that these medications did nothing to alleviate my horrible symptoms. Squirt told me to keep taking them for another 30 days. After all the Blonde Bimbo had assured him and me that all I had to do was take these two pills in addition to the little white one I took for my thyroid and then my nasty symptoms would really disappear. Not one nasty symptom has disappeared!

My body is now in a full state of rebellion! The symptoms are now definitely marching to the beat of their own drummer. The bugs buzzing in my ears is constant now. Whenever I try conversing with people I have a hard time hearing them because of the parties those bugs throw. I had no idea that bugs could be so noisy. I actually get disorientated from the constant buzz in my ears. When I speak my voice sounds like it is coming through a long tunnel. The dizzy spells are no picnic. The vertigo is a nightmare. The vision problems cause disorientation and nausea.

And oh dear God the nights! I had no idea that the nights would become such a struggle. I am awakened 2 to 3 times a night by the crawling in my legs or by what I can only describe as an adrenaline rush. I am beyond tired.

But I must pick myself right back up and tell myself to smarten up. After all, two of the great minds of our decade, Squirt and Blondie have told me that there is nothing wrong with me but a little depression and a lot of fat!

If only the bugs would shut up and quit their shenanigans.


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