November 12, 2001 – Great Women

Great Women – Quotations from Women about Women

Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what happened.
-Cora Henry Armstrong

The hardest years in life are those between
ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs.
I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber

Whoever thought up the word “Mammogram”?
Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed
to put my breast in an envelope and send it.
-Jan King

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out
to play catch with my golden retriever.
When I bent over to pick up the ball,
my prosthesis fell out.
The dog snatched it, and
I found myself chasing him down
the road yelling, “Hey, come back
here with my breast!”
-Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse
before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

You know the hardest thing about
having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It’s plucking your eyebrows.
That’s how I originally got pierced ears.
-Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an
auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is
ironing. My first being hitting
my head on the top bunk bed
until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
-Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality
it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited

Thirty-five is when you finally get
your head together and your
body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time,
but sometimes several days attack
me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited

If you can’t be a good example,
then you’ll just have to be a
horrible warning.
-Catherine Aird

When I was young, I was put in
a school for retarded kids for two
years before they realized
I actually had a hearing loss.
And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley

I’m not offended by all the
dumb blonde jokes because
I know I’m not dumb . .
and I’m also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys
with dumb women, but you hardly ever
see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong

I’m not going to vacuum ’til
Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr

When women are depressed they either eat
or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler

In politics, if you want anything said,
ask a man-if you want
anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask
for advice on how to combine
marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem

If men can run the world,
why can’t they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start
the day by tying a noose
around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel
inferior without your permission.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

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