Not Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

Just got home from the lake at 1:30 PM.  Will go back right after supper.   Life in the trailer is really quite nice.  Lots of room.  It is so nice to have a separate bedroom especially when grandson and his friends stay over.   Grandson and two of his friends will be joining us tonight and plan to stay at the lake (resort) until the end of the long weekend.

My dad enjoyed the times he spent with us at the trailer.  He would come out for supper and spend the evening.   I miss those times so very much.  We would enjoy sitting around the fire or if the insects were too bad inside the trailer and share our memories. 

My dad and I enjoyed shopping at the monthly bake sale held in his condo.  The lady who supplied the baked goods also sold fresh vegetables from her own garden.  Her canned pickles, jams and jellies were delicious.  During the summer months dad and I would shop at the local weekly farmer’s market.

Woke up at 3:45 AM.  It is that awful time when your brain conjures up the boogie man and the nightmares he brings along just to try to drive a person around the bend.  It is that time between night and morning.; the time when one feels completely alone.

It is raining this afternoon. What a nice break after the high temperatures we have had for what seems like weeks on end.  I am slowly getting myself together after a very difficult June and July.  Still find getting out and about difficult but hopefully that will soon change.

The time at the lake (resort) this past week has been relaxing.  My grandson and his friends had a great time; the rain did not stop them.

Monty and I took a lot of short walks during the day.  After supper Peter, Monty and I would go for a much longer walk.  If the weather was right we would end the evening relaxing in the hot tub.

I also did some reading and a lot of thinking these last few weeks.  It is difficult to put my thoughts into words at this time. I will say that I did think about adoption, consequences of adoption and rejection. Adopted children will try harder  to gain the unconditional love of family members than children born into a family.  What can cause a deep hurt is when the adopted child realizes that there is no unconditional love coming from siblings.  The hurt goes even deeper when the adopted one realizes that some of the siblings feel only resentment and hatred.

Before I quit my rambling for today I want to share the following video with you.

If you find the music annoying just click the mute button.

Thank you to all my friends who have kept me in their thoughts and prayers and sent flowers during this difficult month. The false accusations became overwhelming this past week and I experienced times when I could hardly breath.  I know it was your prayers that saw me through these desperate times. Words cannot adequately express my thanks to all of you.

How does one catch up on lost sleep? As soon as my stress increased so did the pain, nausea and dizziness.

After the meeting on Wednesday my dad seemed to adjust to the decisions that had been made. I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons with him in his room in rehab. You can imagine my shock when my niece called me on Saturday morning to tell me that Grandpa had been moved back to the main floor medical unit and that he was drifting in and out of consciousness.

My dad went to be with his Lord and Savior this morning June 28th.  I went to the hospital early this morning but then made a terrible mistake.  I decided to go home and have a quick shower and come right back. My phone rang shortly after I walked into my house.  It was the hospital telling me to come right back.  I asked the person calling me if my dad had passed away and she said yes.  My dad should not have died alone.   The hospital staff was well aware that my father was dying yet they did not stop me from leaving.

Not only did my dad die alone this morning but a decision was made by someone that it was time for him to die.  I wonder how many other senior citizens are at the mercy of people who take it upon themselves to decide when that senior should die.

Dad was born on October 10, 1919 in the District of Clearspring on the Reimer family homestead.

On July 1, 1942 he met my mom  and after a short courtship they were married on November 22nd, 1942. They started their married life by living in a Conscientious Objector (CO) Camp in Northern Ontario as dad was conscripted to this lumber camp during the Second World War.  By 1944 they had moved to the Reimer homestead where they raised their family of five daughters.  Dad farmed the homestead for 34 years and also worked land in the Broken Head and Beausejour areas. Over the years to improve his farming skills, dad attended several courses through the Department of Agriculture at the University of Manitoba. When the homestead was expropriated for the expansion of the #12 Hwy he and Mom retired near the Village of Sarto. After a number of years they moved back to the City of Steinbach. He was a devoted husband who learnt to cope as a widower after mom passed on December 2nd 2010.  They had celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary on November 22nd just weeks before her death.  He was a wonderful father  and was dearly loved by his 7 grandchildren and their spouses and his 4 great-grandsons.

Each day Dad  left us with the words  “be kind to others” and he taught us the importance of being grateful for what God had given us.

Dad had a heart for those less fortunate then himself.  It was his sense of social justice that moved him to sponsor water wells in Africa. He was well known across the region for his attendance at auction sales and his love of antiques. He was a volunteer at the Mennonite Village Museum where he helped to tend the animals and demonstrate rope making. He was an avid supporter and volunteer for the annual Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) auction. He also volunteered for Meals on Wheels and left shut-ins with encouragement along with their food.

My dad and I spent many hours talking about the past, the present and the future.  I will miss him very much.

It was an exhausting morning. We had a family meeting with dad, the nurses, the doctor (who was an hour late) physio and home care personal. Three daughters were at the meeting and the other two joined in by telephone. We all came to the conclusion that dad would no longer be able to live alone. His official panelling will take place around July 29th at which time they will decide to which home he will be sent too.

Sadly our city does not have adequate care facilities for our senior citizens. If you are elderly and live in one of the ethnic communities that surround our city, you will never be sent to a care home outside of your community. However if you live in our city you have a good chance of being sent to care homes in communities as far away as 60 km. This of course makes it very difficult for family members to visit every day. Being sent to one of these ethnic community care homes often causes a language barrier. Our senior family members find it very lonely in these homes.

Please keep my dad in your prayers. This past week has been extremely difficult for him. His breathing has become a real problem due to congestive heart failure. Because he has had to curtail his activities, he is becoming very discouraged, lonesome and sad. It has become too difficult for him to go down to the dining room for lunch.

Wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas. My cards and gifts are late again this year.  I sincerely apologize.  I wish you all much happiness and good health in the coming year.  Hopeully my energy and motivation will return real soon.

Just got home from the lake (resort)  at 1:30 PM.  I will go back Sunday at noon. Life in the trailer is really quite nice.  Lots of room.  Weather at the resort was miserable most of the week with only 1 day of sunshine.  The rain did not bother me since I had lots of reading material; my latest order from Chapters arrived the day before I left for the resort.

Next week is suppose to be better.   Grandson was out at the resort for two days and plans to come out for all of next week.  He will be bringing two friends with him.

It seems that when nasty weather arrives my pain gets worse.  At least when I am alone at the resort no one has to listen to my whining and bitching.  I shouldn’t be such a whiner but some days it all gets to be a bit much.  I have been seeing the doctor on a regular basis; last time was two weeks ago. He is very good at shoulder shrugging.   Wish I had a career where all I had to do is fake concern and shoulder shrug to earn the big bucks.  Okay, so now I sound like a bitchy person but really how much can one person take before the occasional nasty remark slips out?

Grandson’s Grade 9 (Junior High) graduation dance was held on Friday evening, June 19, 2009.  Come September he will be in high school.

Woke up this morning with a bladder infection.  I drank 2 litres of Cranberry juice at noon which reduced some of the awful burning sensation.  I saw the doctor at 3:15 PM.  During my 30 minutes at the clinic I had to use the bathroom 5 times.  Talk about embarrassing.

Life can sure be a drag at times.  I hate it when I have no ambition, no energy and feel like a lump of lard.   I fell off my diet this weekend.  Temptation got the better of me and I had dessert one night.  What I hate even more than the pain is the weight gain.   Sad that a non functioning thyroid gland can cause such horrendous problems.  

The weather here is mostly miserable.  Had one nice day on the weekend. Yesterday it rained all day.  The weather seems to match my mood.

Poor Monty spent an afternoon at the groomers on May 13th and he has not been himself since. Peter took Monty to the vet today and the diagnosis was a severe neck injury. The vet felt that rough treatment by the groomer caused the injury. Upon further examination, the vet found numerous nicks on Monty’s ears which could only have been caused by the groomer. After he finished examing Monty the vet asked for the groomer’s name and phone number. Needless to say, we will find a new groomer for our little dog.

On May 13, we had horrible weather conditions. It was very cold, very windy and very rainy. There was a frost warning for that night and we were told to cover any plants in flower beds or gardens.  Will spring ever come to Southeastern Manitoba.

Mother’s day fell on May 10th and I had a wonderful day. We went for lunch with our daughter, son in law, grandson and my dad.   Later that afternoon Peter and Monty finished a 5 km walk for charity.   Monty had a great time since his buddy Chubbs did the walk as well.  Monty and Chubbs are best friends and play together as often as possible.  Chubbs lives two doors down from our house and when ever he can sneak away he runs over to my front door.

I have managed to walk 2.8 km three nights in a row. I carry my cane just in case and I push through the pain.  I do not know how long I can keep this up but I am sure going to try especially since I lost 5 lbs. in the last seven days.